STAYING POSITIVE IN A NEGATIVE WORLD
By: Kevin J. Andrews, RD

As we intermingle among others at the mall, at the market or out to eat, we see the “normalities” of our society.  It is these normalities that do not stand out to us for that very reason – the overweight, clearly out-of-shape and even the obese members of our society are all so commonplace that they have become the norm.   What does stand out to us is the “abnormal”, which includes the in-shape, muscular, attractive individuals that have somehow beaten the odds. These are those individuals whom we should admire. 

However; in my experience, while they are admired and envied inwardly, the typical outward statement is generally a negative one!  It seems people are more comfortable saying something negative about someone else’s positive achievement, rather than acknowledging it for what it is!  While I am not a psychologist, this seems to part of an effort to feel better about their own choices.   

Staying “positive in a negative world” refers exactly to the above statements; we are surrounded by negatives, potential negative options, and society generally choosing to look (at least outwardly) negatively on those who have achieved positive outcomes!  So the question arises, how do you stay positive in a negative world? 

The first rule you must consider is you should strive to be abnormal!  Abnormal can be either good or bad, but you should strive to be abnormal in a good way.  Secondly, honestly ask yourself if you have done the above (reacted negatively either verbally or mentally in response to someone with obvious positive physical attributes).  If the latter is true, affirm to yourself to learn to see positives as positives and negatives as negatives – even if the negatives are your own!  Thirdly, stay focused on your objectives, and don’t let society convince you otherwise.  Keep your parameters set with strong parallel lines, meaning you do not stray out of those boundaries, allowing only those activities within the confines of your parallel lines.  If your area between the lines is too broad, learn to narrow your lines!

An example of the above setting of parameters, which certainly makes me abnormal, is that I will not eat food brought in to any of my places of business.  Cakes, cookies, pies, home-cooked pastas and so forth are off limits – it is a parameter I have set and have taken the choice aspect away.  It is not that I choose to not eat the foods because my parameter is set to not give myself the choice.  If there is no choice, there are no options.  In this way, it is not personalized to the person bringing in the food.  I realize this may be hard to understand, but we all have these parameters – it is just that my parallel lines are much narrower than most! 

An analogy to bring this home is as follows: Do you ever choose to leave the house clothed?!!!  No; you automatically put on clothes prior to leaving the house because your parameter takes away the choice – it is an automatic!  Learning to set similar parameters for narrower subjects, such as diet or exercise, is the key to being the exception that we all see and inwardly (and hopefully one day, outwardly) admire. 

Learning not to let negative influences influence your own decisions is the key because the allowance of those normalities could be your downfall.   Have you ever had someone tell you “I once,” or “I used to be,” or “my body used to look like that”?   What do you think changed things for them?  I will guarantee you that 90+ percent of the time it was the succumbing to normalities of our society that, at the time, seemed easier than maintaining those parallel lines.  In fact, most of the time it was not only allowing those lines to widen, but allowing those lines to disappear totally! 

In the end, it is your decision.  If you learn that, in general, people will continue to judge you negatively based on your positive achievements, and accept that, you will be one step ahead of the game.  Learn to see yourself as abnormal and be proud of that fact!  Lastly, learn to see positives as positives and negatives as negatives and try to influence others by making positive comments when you see those abnormalities in society that warrant, and need, positive affirmation.  Remember, strive for abnormality –
anybody can be normal! 

                                                                                           Kevin J Andrews
                                                                                           Dietitian and Fitness Services Inc.