Sexual Health

What is Your Goal?
Sexual health is part of your overall health. Your goal may be pleasure – yes – but those pleasures directly help your health. The melting sensations of arousal show that the floodgates of life energy are open. Stress and tightness let go, capillaries expand, nutrients flood into waiting tissues, and toxins wash out.

Your goal may be bonding with a loved one – a good thing – but the revitalized relationship also helps your health. The comfort and relaxation after sex decrease your stress levels, so your cardiovascular risk goes down. Gratitude itself is life-affirming. Partners who gladly help each other in bed also cooperate to get through life more easily and live longer.

Your goal may be orgasm – why not? – but once again you’re choosing health. Orgasm not only releases tension, but it renews the sparkle in your eye. Being more relaxed, attractive and upbeat help you wherever you go.

Sexuality
Sexuality is a central part of a person, although it can be suppressed or even sometimes ignored. Because it is central, people experience it and express it bodily as well as with thoughts, feelings, and behavior. A person’s sexuality is influenced by everything they are exposed to in the world around them. Sexuality is holistic. Sexuality can focus people in ways that are positively enriching, such as enhancing communication and love. Psychologically, all our pursuits of pleasure and fulfillment are related to our sexuality.

Sexual Health
Sexual health involves well-being of body, self and soul. It is not merely the absence of disease and dysfunction. Sexual health is expansive and positive, promoting pleasurable sexual experiences free of harm. This includes gaining knowledge to make informed choices that give you the best chance for happiness. You could define sexual health as the ability to enjoy sexual activity of one’s own free choice without suffering physical or mental harm or causing harm to others. This includes protecting children. Sexual health aims toward the rights of all persons being respected and given the chance for fulfillment according to their circumstances.

Sexual Rights
Sexual rights are built upon basic human rights. They include the rights to sexual education, health care, bodily safety, gender equality, diversity, free choice about having children, and consensual relationships and activities. Sexual rights aim toward freedom from fear, shame, guilt, false beliefs, and any other psychological factors that get in the way of a person’s well-being.

One example: Many women don’t feel actual desire for sex. Their desire may only awaken after a partner has stimulated them to arousal and genital readiness, or not even then. These women may consider themselves happy but still feel coerced into sexual activity, as if thinking, “It’s been so long, I have to do something or he’ll get angry.” These situations can improve with therapy.

Sex Therapy
Sex therapy involves sensitive communication about any of these private matters. This gives a person a chance to discover a new point of view. Often a person finds that the issue facing them dates as far back as their childhood. Airing things out can help a client grow as a person, as well as resolve a current issue. This could mean better communication in relationships or standing up for oneself. It could mean new ways of coping with anxiety, depression, illness, surgical results, medication side effects, or sexual risks such as STDs. It could include education about human anatomy. It could involve spirituality. It could mean getting out of your head so you’re more connected with your body. Of course, sex therapy never includes sexual touching, nudity or demonstrations. It is talk therapy of the highest caliber.

Culture
Sexual health also relates to a person’s culture. For instance, media images of sexuality without concern for human well-being can have a big impact on young people. Economic, political and even religious factors can be harmful when disadvantaged people are coerced into dangerous situations which may even last for years.

Abstinence
Many people have no sexual activity at all. Adults sometimes drift into abstinence after bad experiences with sex. This can be a temporary improvement, but sexual starvation has its own risks. Sex therapy promotes the right of a person to choose the status quo, while still opening a door toward possible change and growth.

The Highest Levels
People at the highest levels of emotional health experience a higher level of sexuality beyond ordinary desire, arousal and orgasm or ejaculation. With a loving relationship and their minds and bodies fully connected, people can experience the flow of life energy amassing in their private parts during sexual arousal and intercourse, then disbursing with full bodied, involuntary convulsions accompanying orgasm. At this level, sexual functioning discharges stagnant, built-up energy and protects a person from neurosis.

Mary Lou MacIlvaine, PhD is a Clinical Psychologist and AASECT-Certified Sex Therapist in private practice in San Diego. She can be reached at 619-501-0334 or on the web at sextherapysandiego.com.


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Sexual Health By Dr. Mary Lou MacIlvaine What is Your Goal? Sexual health is part of your overall health. Your goal may be pleasure – yes – but those pleasures directly help your health. The melting sensations of arousal show that the floodgates of life energy are open. Stress and tightness let go, capillaries expand, nutrients flood into waiting tissues, and toxins wash out. Your goal may be bonding with a loved one – a good thing – but the revitalized relationship also helps your health. The comfort and relaxation after sex decrease your stress levels, so your cardiovascular risk goes down. Gratitude itself is life-affirming. Partners who gladly help each other in bed also cooperate to get through life more easily and live longer. Your goal may be orgasm – why not? – but once again you’re choosing health. Orgasm not only releases tension, but it renews the sparkle in your eye. Being more relaxed, attractive and upbeat help you wherever you go. Sexuality Sexuality is a central part of a person, although it can be suppressed or even sometimes ignored. Because it is central, people experience it and express it bodily as well as with thoughts, feelings, and behavior. A person’s sexuality is influenced by everything they are exposed to in the world around them. Sexuality is holistic. Sexuality can focus people in ways that are positively enriching, such as enhancing communication and love. Psychologically, all our pursuits of pleasure and fulfillment are related to our sexuality. Sexual Health Sexual health involves well-being of body, self and soul. It is not merely the absence of disease and dysfunction. Sexual health is expansive and positive, promoting pleasurable sexual experiences free of harm. This includes gaining knowledge to make informed choices that give you the best chance for happiness. You could define sexual health as the ability to enjoy sexual activity of one’s own free choice without suffering physical or mental harm or causing harm to others. This includes protecting children. Sexual health aims toward the rights of all persons being respected and given the chance for fulfillment according to their circumstances. Sexual Rights Sexual rights are built upon basic human rights. They include the rights to sexual education, health care, bodily safety, gender equality, diversity, free choice about having children, and consensual relationships and activities. Sexual rights aim toward freedom from fear, shame, guilt, false beliefs, and any other psychological factors that get in the way of a person’s well-being. One example: Many women don’t feel actual desire for sex. Their desire may only awaken after a partner has stimulated them to arousal and genital readiness, or not even then. These women may consider themselves happy but still feel coerced into sexual activity, as if thinking, “It’s been so long, I have to do something or he’ll get angry.” These situations can improve with therapy. Sex Therapy Sex therapy involves sensitive communication about any of these private matters. This gives a person a chance to discover a new point of view. Often a person finds that the issue facing them dates as far back as their childhood. Airing things out can help a client grow as a person, as well as resolve a current issue. This could mean better communication in relationships or standing up for oneself. It could mean new ways of coping with anxiety, depression, illness, surgical results, medication side effects, or sexual risks such as STDs. It could include education about human anatomy. It could involve spirituality. It could mean getting out of your head so you’re more connected with your body. Of course, sex therapy never includes sexual touching, nudity or demonstrations. It is talk therapy of the highest caliber. Culture Sexual health also relates to a person’s culture. For instance, media images of sexuality without concern for human well-being can have a big impact on young people. Economic, political and even religious factors can be harmful when disadvantaged people are coerced into dangerous situations which may even last for years. Abstinence Many people have no sexual activity at all. Adults sometimes drift into abstinence after bad experiences with sex. This can be a temporary improvement, but sexual starvation has its own risks. Sex therapy promotes the right of a person to choose the status quo, while still opening a door toward possible change and growth. The Highest Levels People at the highest levels of emotional health experience a higher level of sexuality beyond ordinary desire, arousal and orgasm or ejaculation. With a loving relationship and their minds and bodies fully connected, people can experience the flow of life energy amassing in their private parts during sexual arousal and intercourse, then disbursing with full bodied, involuntary convulsions accompanying orgasm. At this level, sexual functioning discharges stagnant, built-up energy and protects a person from neurosis. Mary Lou MacIlvaine, PhD is a Clinical Psychologist and AASECT-Certified Sex Therapist in private practice in San Diego. She can be reached at 619-501-0334 or on the web at sextherapysandiego.com.