The Gift of Love
By Robert Resewehr
This year I will not be among the shoppers frantically searching for the right gift to buy on a tight budget.  The economic downturn has hit this citizen. I must be frugal. I am sure that I am not alone in this predicament.
The reality of not being in a position to be as generous as in past years initially was depressing. I felt sorry for myself. Then I felt as if I was letting down all those I cared for and normally give to. I started to get angry with myself and that anger turned to blame aimed at anyone I thought affected the economy and my situation. Fortunately it was not long before I caught myself. I was thinking the wrong way. I was punishing myself. I asked myself, what good can come of blaming myself or others for my finances? The answer came to me quickly: Nothing good can come from blame. Yes, I had to accept responsibility for what I did or did not do.  I have no control over what anyone else does.
So, how can I handle this?  Send cards? That will sound like I am making excuses: “Merry Christmas, guys! No money, no gifts, it will be better next year!” I meditated. The result was a subtle dialog with myself. The question that arose was, why do you buy gifts for certain people? The answer was because I love them. Will they stop loving you if don’t buy them a gift?  No, they will be disappointed. Well, what if you could get them a gift that doesn’t cost a lot of money? Instantly, I flashed back to my childhood Christmases.
I was raised in the rural Midwest by hardworking parents struggling to support four children on a small income. That tended to result in practical gifts at Christmas from our parents. As I recall, on a couple of occasions there were two gifts each, one that we opened Christmas Eve, and one on Christmas morning. (I am sure some of you have raised eyebrows by now or are thinking, this guy must be older than dirt!) My point is that my parents gave with love, and I do not remember any of my siblings whining, complaining or laying on a guilt trip for the lack of all the latest gadgetry (of course, back in the Stone Age there weren’t many gadgets!)
I further recall the gifts that my children gave me when they were little, the hand-drawn cards and pictures. These things I still have stored away in a safe place because of the emotional value to me. These little things were created for me with love. Hmmm.
In my kitchen, mounted on the wall, is a pink plate I decorated for my mother, who has passed on. It has a picture of me glued to the center, placed inside a crudely drawn house with snow on the roof and a spattering of snow falling around it. Around the edge of this plate are off-balanced words that say, “Bless this House – O Lord We Pray!” It meant so much to my mother that she mounted it on her wall, and now it is on mine as a symbol of my love for my mother, then and now.
I have decided that I am going to create each gift I give this year. The gifts will be varied, but all creative and won’t involve going to the mall (maybe a craft store instead).  As I create these gifts I will be thinking about how much I love and appreciate the intended recipient.
Maybe it sounds hokey to some, maybe the gifts will end up in the trash barrel, or maybe on the wall of some future descendent.  I am doing it to express love for the person and not for the thanks.  I am not doing it as an obligation, but just because I want to say “I love you” the best way I know how under my circumstances.
Merry Christmas and happy New Year! My prayers and good wishes are for a prosperous and peaceful New Year for you!
Robert Resewehr is an ordained non-denominational minister, certified hypnotherapist, special education advocate and retired educator who has instructed all levels, from severely disabled preschoolers to college level instruction and administration. He holds masters degrees in counseling and special education. He is a published writer and currently has a limited private practice as a spiritual life coach and special education advocate. Call Resewehr at 951-764-1667 or email him at resewehrs@earthlink.net