SPIRITUAL CRISIS MANAGEMENT

A recent newspaper ad had a headline that touted, “Ten of the happiest women in America.” Who were they? They were ten women who had lost weight by the method offered in the ad. Another advertisement in the same paper promised happiness to any child taking their particular course in piano. Another suggested the ultimate happiness in life could be achieved through clean breath.

American advertisers know about our quest for happiness. However, happiness is not doing this particular thing or receiving that particular thing. It is byproduct involved in the process of growth. Happiness begins with an awareness that any experience or situation presents us with an opportunity to make even the unexpected, the unpredictable, the undesirable, and even the painful times of life opportunities for us to grow.

This insight leads to some important questions:

Some adventurers found an ancient Egyptian cure in one of the pyramids they were exploring. It was evidently absolutely the cure for the common cold and it employed a rite of exorcism. The sufferer would utter an incantation:

“Depart, cold, son of a cold, you who breaks bones, destroys the skull makes ill the seven openings of the head. Go out on the floor, stink, stink.”

Can you imagine finding this and then rushing to have it interpreted into today’s language, thinking, perhaps, they made one of the greatest discoveries of all time?

A lot of the things we have done in our life to master our own life are just as laughable as this ancient Egyptian cure for the common cold.

No one can take responsibility for your life – only you can make the changes necessary. You cannot retreat into regarding yourself as a victim and continue to grow.

When a crisis appears and you stand up to it, you affirm, in effect, “I am up to this. Maybe I can’t do it alone, maybe I don’t think I have the strength right now, but there is something greater within me that I can connect with.”

The wholly self-focused life is a self-destructive life. In your life, you can be too concerned as well as too unconcerned about your own well being. You can only maximize the value of experiences by maintaining a healthy balance between self-concern and other concerns outside of yourself.

Each one of you has two sets of values in your life. One set is external. The other set is internal. The external is the values we acquire during our lives. We get them from various sources. From our church, our parents, government, laws, advertising, and the movies. We internalize them without questioning and we act in accordance with their instructions. Then we might wonder why we are so miserable when we are going down a path that is not our own. Perhaps when we look, we realize it is someone else’s idea of our path.

The other set of values is internal. These are things that when we really think, we actually believe. Often we tend to act on external values because so many people advocate them that we think they must be right. Because of this, it is possible to live for years without even realizing which values are dominant in our lives. Then something happens, a crisis comes and we realize we are in conflict. Who are you? If you let go of what others have told you that you are, what you are inside of yourself will surface.

Redefining means looking at something so it is no longer as problematic as you thought. It isn’t the situation that has changed. It is your perspective on the situation.

Silver lining thinking doesn’t mean denying your problems. It simply reflects the fact there are nearly always some positive aspects. If we change our thinking, we change our outer experiences.

It is important to distinguish between an unhealthy or unproductive perseverance and one that will yield in your life a beneficial result. The key is whether progress is being made in your life.

We have all been told about pain threshold. There are people who can take living daily with a great deal of pain. They are used to it. It is pain that you or I could not take. There is also an awareness threshold. It is said by Helen Keller, “The worst thing is to have vision and not see.” You can miss a spiritual experience simply because your awareness threshold is too high. To lower it means actively listening and actively seeing. When you are facing a crisis, it is a natural thing for the human mind to go inside its shell and seal up tight and to remove itself from life, when we need to do the opposite. We need to increase our hearing and increase our seeing. If we do, we will see answers that are right in front of us.

There are many examples of people who have used a crisis to restructure their lives in some way. Some have gained a new perspective on what is important or have changed some aspect of their personality, or have made a decision to pursue a new direction in their lives. Restructuring does not necessarily mean a revolution; it is gaining a new perspective.

The committed individual confronts life and actively engages it rather than facing it passively, or trying to avoid it.

It is having a sense of some power or influence over the crisis we face. It means the individual does not feel helpless in the face of a massive external force, but recognizes that he or she always has some options and some influence over the outcomes.

It is acceptance of the fact that change rather than stability is the essence of life and therefore one should look at change with anticipation rather than as a threat.

To close, I’d like to remind you about an old story. Two frogs fell into a bucket of cream. They tried to get out by climbing up the side of the bucket, but each time they would slip back into the cream. Finally, one frog said, “We’ll never get any place doing this. I give up.” So down he went and drowned. The other frog seeing the consequences of giving up, decided to keep trying. Even if he didn’t succeed, it would be better to go down fighting. So time and again he tried to climb with his front legs while he kicked his back legs. Suddenly he hit something solid. He turned to see what it was. Lo and behold he found that all of his kicking had churned up a lump of butter. So hopping on top of it, he leaped out of the pail to safety.


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SPIRITUAL CRISIS MANAGEMENT A recent newspaper ad had a headline that touted, “Ten of the happiest women in America.” Who were they? They were ten women who had lost weight by the method offered in the ad. Another advertisement in the same paper promised happiness to any child taking their particular course in piano. Another suggested the ultimate happiness in life could be achieved through clean breath. American advertisers know about our quest for happiness. However, happiness is not doing this particular thing or receiving that particular thing. It is byproduct involved in the process of growth. Happiness begins with an awareness that any experience or situation presents us with an opportunity to make even the unexpected, the unpredictable, the undesirable, and even the painful times of life opportunities for us to grow. This insight leads to some important questions: How can I use situations and experiences for personal development? How can I keep from succumbing to despair when traumatic situations occur? How can I keep from missing all of the opportunities daily life presents me for happiness? How do I master life? Can I? Some adventurers found an ancient Egyptian cure in one of the pyramids they were exploring. It was evidently absolutely the cure for the common cold and it employed a rite of exorcism. The sufferer would utter an incantation: “Depart, cold, son of a cold, you who breaks bones, destroys the skull makes ill the seven openings of the head. Go out on the floor, stink, stink.” Can you imagine finding this and then rushing to have it interpreted into today’s language, thinking, perhaps, they made one of the greatest discoveries of all time? A lot of the things we have done in our life to master our own life are just as laughable as this ancient Egyptian cure for the common cold. THE TEN PRINCIPLES Take responsibility for yourself No one can take responsibility for your life – only you can make the changes necessary. You cannot retreat into regarding yourself as a victim and continue to grow. Every day affirm your own worth When a crisis appears and you stand up to it, you affirm, in effect, “I am up to this. Maybe I can’t do it alone, maybe I don’t think I have the strength right now, but there is something greater within me that I can connect with.” Balance self-concern with other concern The wholly self-focused life is a self-destructive life. In your life, you can be too concerned as well as too unconcerned about your own well being. You can only maximize the value of experiences by maintaining a healthy balance between self-concern and other concerns outside of yourself. Find and use available values. Each one of you has two sets of values in your life. One set is external. The other set is internal. The external is the values we acquire during our lives. We get them from various sources. From our church, our parents, government, laws, advertising, and the movies. We internalize them without questioning and we act in accordance with their instructions. Then we might wonder why we are so miserable when we are going down a path that is not our own. Perhaps when we look, we realize it is someone else’s idea of our path. The other set of values is internal. These are things that when we really think, we actually believe. Often we tend to act on external values because so many people advocate them that we think they must be right. Because of this, it is possible to live for years without even realizing which values are dominant in our lives. Then something happens, a crisis comes and we realize we are in conflict. Who are you? If you let go of what others have told you that you are, what you are inside of yourself will surface. Learn the art of Redefining. Redefining means looking at something so it is no longer as problematic as you thought. It isn’t the situation that has changed. It is your perspective on the situation. Practice silver lining thinking. Silver lining thinking doesn’t mean denying your problems. It simply reflects the fact there are nearly always some positive aspects. If we change our thinking, we change our outer experiences. Persevere within reason It is important to distinguish between an unhealthy or unproductive perseverance and one that will yield in your life a beneficial result. The key is whether progress is being made in your life. Lower your awareness threshold. We have all been told about pain threshold. There are people who can take living daily with a great deal of pain. They are used to it. It is pain that you or I could not take. There is also an awareness threshold. It is said by Helen Keller, “The worst thing is to have vision and not see.” You can miss a spiritual experience simply because your awareness threshold is too high. To lower it means actively listening and actively seeing. When you are facing a crisis, it is a natural thing for the human mind to go inside its shell and seal up tight and to remove itself from life, when we need to do the opposite. We need to increase our hearing and increase our seeing. If we do, we will see answers that are right in front of us. Dare to restructure your life. There are many examples of people who have used a crisis to restructure their lives in some way. Some have gained a new perspective on what is important or have changed some aspect of their personality, or have made a decision to pursue a new direction in their lives. Restructuring does not necessarily mean a revolution; it is gaining a new perspective. Develop the three “c’s” change in your personality Commitment The committed individual confronts life and actively engages it rather than facing it passively, or trying to avoid it. Control It is having a sense of some power or influence over the crisis we face. It means the individual does not feel helpless in the face of a massive external force, but recognizes that he or she always has some options and some influence over the outcomes. Challenge It is acceptance of the fact that change rather than stability is the essence of life and therefore one should look at change with anticipation rather than as a threat. To close, I’d like to remind you about an old story. Two frogs fell into a bucket of cream. They tried to get out by climbing up the side of the bucket, but each time they would slip back into the cream. Finally, one frog said, “We’ll never get any place doing this. I give up.” So down he went and drowned. The other frog seeing the consequences of giving up, decided to keep trying. Even if he didn’t succeed, it would be better to go down fighting. So time and again he tried to climb with his front legs while he kicked his back legs. Suddenly he hit something solid. He turned to see what it was. Lo and behold he found that all of his kicking had churned up a lump of butter. So hopping on top of it, he leaped out of the pail to safety. Which frog are you?